First psychomagic act: Self administered ritual!

I did my own psychomagic act- to release the energy of this guy and hopefully also this kind of experience. I found his used condom in the bin (which represents being discarded also quite symbolic- sexually, but also as a mother, as wife), it was tied. Intuitively, i had the idea after eating eggs which i do almost every day- to use a hammer or something similar to mash together the empty egg shells and the used condom and a new condom (so 2 of each) by putting the condoms into the egg shells like protection also (both about protection and also the metaphor of impregnation or lack of, being devoured also) which i did, breaking them down into pulp together on my balcony. Then I buried them together in a plant on my balcony (which i had also vomited in after drinking too much following all this stress) digging the residue into the plant and put a dying sunflower into the pot. I took photos of the ritual.. 

However, having read more since then i realise that i should also do something to 'refertilise' or 'plant' something after burying something.. so not only did i then put another sunflower (to match the 2 of everything, dying flowers enable regeneration but celebrate the sexual fertility which is now over) but I then planted an avocado seed into the pot. Avocados generally need a male and female seed to fruit, but to grow not. Avocados- not sure of the symbolism.. but they are very healthy and they come from central Mexico- which i do have a great affinity with and am very drawn to (mayan etc)

• They are a good source of protein.
• Rich in potassium, even higher than bananas.
• Cancer prevention (mouth, prostate and breast)
• Eye health – higher in lutein (81 mcg per serving) than any other fruit – protects against cataracts & macular degeneration.
• Lowers cholesterol – high in beta-sisosterol which has proven to lower cholesterol levels.
• High in folate, monounsaturated fats & glutathione (good for heart health)
• Antiaging – because they are rich in glutathione, a powerful antioxidant that helps slow down the aging process keeping the body healthier
• Highest fruit source of vitamin E
• High in fiber, folic acid, B6, C, and copper
• Good for blood pressure because of the potassium

Hopefully I will then be releasing these unfertile relationships and allowing a much more fertile one to come in. The symbol of 2 was intuitive and just happened.. 2 is for 2 people uniting.. takes 2 to tango obviously! Opposites complimenting. There is something about pregnancy coming through.. though this wasn't my conscious intention. Obviously if and when i meet someone who is really for me, the possibility of actually having a family is more viable. Its just the symbolism I worked with in terms of the fertility of relationships for me.